Inside Jack!'s Brain

Rumors of a stunning gamble by Jack! Layton have surprised (at least a few) Canadians with a bid for a Christmas Federal election. When asked why he was willing to push Canadians to the polls during the holiday season, he replied, "It's not due to the Liberal corruption, we can live with that - in fact, we understand it - with a little introspection, we know we'd do the same if Canadians were ever crazy enough to elect us federally. It's not because we see a dramatic gain in popularity for the NDippers - because, frankly, we peaked a while ago and have been experiencing the post-coital sleepiness induced by our Liberal/power love affair. In fact, it's to get back at Bev Desjarlais, and any other 'Christians' like her who think Christmas is a time for anything other than turkey and consumeristic gift-buying. By forcing Canadians to think of a federal election and grandstanding policians at Christmas time, we are training Canadians to more strongly associate Christmas with turkeys, in fact. We're just trying to complete the secular utopia that Canada has always aspired to become."